16/12/2010 16:29:16
Breffni39
County: Cavan
Posts: 4276

834023 Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

A. Because the Russians had blown up his house and family

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 16/12/2010 17:48:26    834105

Omar D,

Was that a Chechan chicken ??

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 16/12/2010 17:52:51    834108

Couldn't rule out the Ukranian chicken Kiev

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 16/12/2010 17:56:43    834115

Omar.d
County: Cavan
Posts: 898

834105 16/12/2010 16:29:16
Breffni39
County: Cavan
Posts: 4276

834023 Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

A. Because the Russians had blown up his house and family
____________________________________________

Wow, Omar.d backs Breffni39 up. Where have we seen this before? I seriously hope you two are tapping eachother because whatever about love between men, multi usernames make baby Jesus cry. (sniffs the air, Jack Nickolson style)

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 16/12/2010 19:20:30    834173

16/12/2010 19:20:30
Con Cavan
County: Cavan
Posts: 278

Wow, Omar.d backs Breffni39 up. Where have we seen this before? I seriously hope you two are tapping eachother because whatever about love between men, multi usernames make baby Jesus cry. (sniffs the air, Jack Nickolson style)
____________________
Brilliant deduction - Im also fired the magic bullet from the grassy knoll and have proof that Jim Corr is right about everything.

By the way your joke was dung

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 17/12/2010 14:31:19    834506

Omar.d
County: Cavan
Posts: 906

834506 16/12/2010 19:20:30
Con Cavan
County: Cavan
Posts: 278

Wow, Omar.d backs Breffni39 up. Where have we seen this before? I seriously hope you two are tapping eachother because whatever about love between men, multi usernames make baby Jesus cry. (sniffs the air, Jack Nickolson style)
.
Sniffing the air is normal this time of year, its rutting season
____________________

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 17/12/2010 14:39:00    834513

knock Knock

Is that you Tommy

aye 'tis

From the annals of the 4 Cons

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 17/12/2010 14:40:48    834514

16/12/2010 17:52:51
Cavan_Slasher
County: Cavan
Posts: 6707

834108 Omar D,

Was that a Chechan chicken ??
_________

Near enough - Your supposed to say "you mean Chechan not Chicken" - then the joke works -

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 17/12/2010 14:46:59    834516

Bill got a parrot as a Present. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Bill tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, Bill was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Bill shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. Bill , in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed..

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. thinking that he'd hurt the parrot, Bill quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Bill 's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." Bill was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did to offend you?"

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 17/12/2010 16:10:25    834600

Ah jaysus Con lighten up will ya??? Its all harmless fun on this thread, no need to be getting serious here!

Breffni40 (Cavan) - Posts: 12470 - 20/12/2010 12:26:00    835585

17/12/2010 16:10:25
dhorse
County: Laois
Posts: 6463

834600 Bill got a parrot as a Present. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Bill tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, Bill was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Bill shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. Bill , in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed..

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. thinking that he'd hurt the parrot, Bill quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Bill 's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." Bill was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did to offend you?"
___________________
Struggling with this one boss - Have you an idiot proof version ?

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 20/12/2010 14:18:29    835660

Breffni39
County: Cavan
Posts: 4290

835585 Ah jaysus Con lighten up will ya??? Its all harmless fun on this thread, no need to be getting serious here!
________________

; )

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 20/12/2010 14:46:58    835687

Omar.d
County: Cavan
Posts: 924


___________________
Struggling with this one boss - Have you an idiot proof version ?

---------------
good news Dougal.
your getting married?

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 20/12/2010 15:51:50    835752

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa
even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to
give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy
bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider
and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider
jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen
floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off
the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked
it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 20/12/2010 16:10:34    835778

My kid got real upset recently and I bought her a military colouring book so she had a soldier to crayon ..

Breff?

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 07/01/2011 10:59:58    841233

the quickest comeback in comedy history there Con!

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 07/01/2011 11:21:51    841246

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

throw_it_over (Galway) - Posts: 769 - 07/01/2011 13:09:56    841350

How many Alzheimer's.

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 07/01/2011 14:07:09    841397

Jaysus Con we seem to have got off on the wrong foot, truce?

Breffni40 (Cavan) - Posts: 12470 - 07/01/2011 14:34:39    841415

You're having a bad day Breff !!

Omar D, no need to yolk me over your chicken jokes !! Egg on your face !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 07/01/2011 14:43:32    841429