National Forum

Friday Afternoon wind down JOKES

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28/10/2010 15:47:26
chainsaw
County: Laois
Posts: 615

805075 LesBleus
County: UK
Posts: 82

796905 Why did Adolf Hitler commit suicide ? He saw his Gas bill.

A gas man to give him his due.

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Its Jew not due

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 28/10/2010 15:52:11    805079

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Did anyone hear about the blind circumciser??

He got the sack

3SeptemberRoad (Kerry) - Posts: 99 - 28/10/2010 16:46:21    805130

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Omar.d
County: Cavan
Posts: 630

805079 28/10/2010 15:47:26
chainsaw
County: Laois
Posts: 615

805075 LesBleus
County: UK
Posts: 82

796905 Why did Adolf Hitler commit suicide ? He saw his Gas bill.

A gas man to give him his due.

______________
Its Jew not due


Go way, your not serious I would never have guessed.

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 28/10/2010 17:30:10    805171

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Is this the NON GAA Forum ?

Boynesider (Louth) - Posts: 335 - 28/10/2010 21:20:14    805445

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Boynesider
County: Louth
Posts: 281

805445
Is this the NON GAA Forum ?


This particular thread was started long before there was a Non-GAA forum

Dr.Shephard (Leitrim) - Posts: 2187 - 28/10/2010 21:32:22    805458

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Passed an fella from the AA today. he was on the side of the raod crying..think he was heading for a breakdown!!

BOOM BOOM

brianfantana (Meath) - Posts: 65 - 28/10/2010 21:39:57    805463

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Q. How do you entice a fat woman into bed ?



Piece of cake !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 28/10/2010 21:44:56    805470

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A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "Okay, now what?"

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 28/10/2010 21:52:37    805479

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 28/10/2010 21:58:00    805487

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Just read this on overheardindublin.com and HAD to post it:

HAPPENS EVERY DAY

I was waitin on a bus a few weeks ago. This double decker one pulled up and a junkie got off. He stood there checkin his pockets as the bus pulled off and then a single decker pulled up to the stop. The junkie starts whinin: "aaaaahhh jaaaaaaaaysis I left me phoooooooooone on the fukkinnnnnnn bussssssssssss" and started bangin on the door, shoutin. the driver lets him on eventually and he runs down the bus lookin for the stairs. "aaaaaaaaahh fukkks saaaaaaake! where's the fukkinnnnn staaaaaaaiiiiiirsss gonnne?"

aslanman (None) - Posts: 75 - 29/10/2010 09:57:53    805513

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Whats the difference between a French kiss and a Belgian kiss?


The Belgian kiss is more Flemish.

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 29/10/2010 10:56:49    805546

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Girl goes to the Doctors and says "Doctor, I want to learn how to do the splits"

Doctors says "Well...how flexible are you"??

She says "I can't do Tuesdays"

Burdo (Dublin) - Posts: 29 - 29/10/2010 11:04:51    805552

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Overheard in Dublin:

Two female Americans walk into Mulligans on Poolbeg Street. One of the middle-age Americans walks up between a line of regulars sitting at the bar and asks the barman where the toilet are. He directs them to the female jacks. Two minutes later the two yanks appear at the bar and say to the same barman ' Excuse me sir, but are you aware that there is no lock on the ladies lavatory?'. The older barman doesn't look up from the pint he is pulling and says casually
' as long as I've been working here, I've never known anyone to steal a sh**e'

BOOM!

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 29/10/2010 11:15:16    805561

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Just found out my mate's addicted to brake fluid. He reckons he can stop any time.

Another mate was addicted to soap, but he's clean now.

jason (Mayo) - Posts: 139 - 01/11/2010 19:40:58    807483

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BEST CAR WINDOW STICKERS!

Constipated people dont give a ****!

IMPOTENCE.....Natures way of saying"No Hard Feelings!"

To all the Virgins..........Thanks for **** all!

richiej (UK) - Posts: 1430 - 05/11/2010 11:40:47    810137

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JOKE OF THE YEAR!........Two women were sitting quietly together,minding their own ****** business!!

richiej (UK) - Posts: 1430 - 05/11/2010 11:46:24    810143

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^ Does anyone actually like them type of jokes, one-liners or something?? I dont think I've ever laughed at one and so many bad comedians have made a living from them. They're (a lot) more clever than funny...

throw_it_over (Galway) - Posts: 769 - 08/11/2010 21:13:02    812469

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For all you harry potter fans out there i seen this one on facebok:

What spell do they use at hogwarts to deal with teenage pregnancy!!

Fetus deletus!!

jono (Mayo) - Posts: 350 - 12/11/2010 14:00:39    814960

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The missus was watching a cookery programme the other day.

I said, "What you watching that for?

You can't cook."


She said, "You watch porn."

................................................................. Bitch.

b.mullins (Dublin) - Posts: 1413 - 12/11/2010 17:06:43    815244

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She whispered in my ear - I want you to kiss me where it smells of fish
No Bother says I- so I took her to Killybegs

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 12/11/2010 17:25:58    815265

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