eamon fennel is on 'take me out' tonight. for real

wishfulthinkin (Cavan) - Posts: 1732 - 28/01/2011 15:27:39    855840

no way? oh God, i hope he's been well paid for it.

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 28/01/2011 15:32:44    855845

not on it tonight sorry, on feb 11th

wishfulthinkin (Cavan) - Posts: 1732 - 28/01/2011 15:42:09    855854

wishfulthinkin
County: Cavan
Posts: 388

855854
not on it tonight sorry, on feb 11th
________

You ! getting your times wrong :o

Con Cavan (Cavan) - Posts: 894 - 28/01/2011 15:45:27    855858

A CLASSIC THAT NEVA EVA GETS OLD
why did the chicken cross the road?

oh god i dont know....

BUT HERES THE ANSWER!
to get to the other side!!!

banterladhi (Donegal) - Posts: 502 - 28/01/2011 17:30:16    855958

Little Johnny got in trouble in school the other day.
Mrs Murphy asked him a question "Johnny, if i gave you €20 and you gave €5 to Kate, Brid and Sarah, What would you have....?"
I guess "3 b***jobs and enough left for a kebab", wasn't the right answer..

gaafarmer (Wexford) - Posts: 280 - 28/01/2011 19:31:58    856052

hers a good joke by ballsmcQ - louth are dublins biggest rivals.
lol good one balls.

donaldo (Meath) - Posts: 352 - 28/01/2011 21:19:11    856151

Patrique, dhorse and joseff are my three favourite posters.. yew_tree are great.

mayoboy1 (Mayo) - Posts: 1654 - 29/01/2011 16:42:57    856374

BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS:
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has issued a hands off warning and has insisted that Howard Webb is not for sale.

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 31/01/2011 15:01:43    857401

31/01/2011 15:01:43
Rhodejim
County: Offaly
Posts: 2388

857401 BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS:
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has issued a hands off warning and has insisted that Howard Webb is not for sale.

_____________
IF alex married that lineswoman she would be Lady Massey-Ferguson

Omar.d (Cavan) - Posts: 1141 - 31/01/2011 15:30:57    857441

Three old golfers are walking down the fairway.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens."

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, I pee every morning at 6.00 am. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"
Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6.30 am."

Puzzled with this the 60-year-old said, "Let's get this straight. You pee every morning at 6..00 am and poop every morning at 6.30 am. So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until seven."

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 02/02/2011 19:42:25    859020

good one dhorse

BettystownRoyal (Meath) - Posts: 3353 - 02/02/2011 21:06:16    859121

You're the man dhorse-hilarious.
2 Meath fellahs were chatting on the way out of the O' Byrne Cup match with UCD in Navan.One fellah was devastated to be beaten by a last minute goal and was lamenting about the year ahead.His pal says-Don't worry its only the O' Byrne Cup-Sure even the O' Byrnes don't go to that anymore!

noneutrals (Dublin) - Posts: 316 - 03/02/2011 10:48:35    859259

Have to write that down dhorse , class. Can you give me directions to the joke factory. Youre obviously a shareholder.

gaelantrim (Antrim) - Posts: 1616 - 03/02/2011 11:07:10    859271

Paddy has lost his dog and he's distraught . His Wife suggests he puts an advert in the paper . 2 weeks later still no dog so his Wife look's in the paper to see what he wrote . "Here Boy!"

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 03/02/2011 13:25:39    859384

George Bush has a heart attack and dies.

Obviously he goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.

'I'm not sure what to do,' says the Devil.

'You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go.
I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.

I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even

let you decide who leaves.'

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The Devil opened the first room.

In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water.

He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.

Such was his fate in hell.

'No!' said George. 'I don't think so, I'm not a good swimmer and

don't think I could stay in hot water all day.'

The Devil led him to the next room.

In it was Tony Blair with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks.

All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.

No! I've got this problem with my shoulder.

I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all

day..' commented George.


The Devil opened the third door.

In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms

staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while, and finally

said 'Yeah, I can handle this.'

The Devil smiled and said, 'OK, Monica, you're free to go!

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 06/02/2011 19:51:48    861709

dhorse your de man!!!

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 06/02/2011 20:33:31    861775

The parish priest was driving along the road when he comes across a donkey lying at the side, so he gets out to discover the donkey is dead so he called into the local shop where he informed the smart ass shopkeeper what he had found.
On hearing the news the shopkeeper shouts out in front of a full shop "O that bad news Father did you give him the last rites" ...too late for that said the priest I'm just informing his next of kin.

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 09/02/2011 12:04:35    863789

dhorse is a legend with his jokes. Are you a famous comedian or a script writer?

Quality!!!

Mancirish (UK) - Posts: 2200 - 09/02/2011 14:05:29    863887

He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like "Brian!

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."


Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."


Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."


Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."


Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"


Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his ******** widow."

Derry_ledd (Derry) - Posts: 2093 - 09/02/2011 14:12:21    863895