how were the ailawee caves formed?....a cavan man dropped a penny down a rabbit hole how do you know your in a cavan kitchen?..there will be a fork in the sugar bowl whats the thinnest book in the world?..the kerry book of knowledge what happened to the kerry man when he was ironing his jeans?..he burned his ****

mac11 (Mayo) - Posts: 463 - 10/07/2009 00:39:03    340079

Why do Mayo people always carry a little rubbish in their pockets?..... Identification.

Inactive x5 (Cavan) - Posts: 1452 - 10/07/2009 13:29:14    340492

I asked a young Mayo girl of about 14 once to complete the phrase -- "better late than ..." ? and she replied "pregnant" !! I suppose she's right though !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 10/07/2009 13:54:56    340538

How do you make a Mayo man laugh on a Monday morning?

Tell him a joke on Friday evening.

3inarow08 (Kerry) - Posts: 2455 - 10/07/2009 14:02:51    340557

Cavan lads there no need to get narky, its well know about Cavan tightness

paddyogall (Mayo) - Posts: 5110 - 10/07/2009 14:17:28    340603

A Monaghan Footballer (no not a woman!), a meath Footballer and a Cavan Footballer (obviously played in the 50's!) were out fishing on Lough Sheelin one day when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in their boat. The boys were gob-smacked! "Jaysus" was all they could say in dumb harmony! The monaghan man said humbly (Yeah right!) "Jesus, me back's been at me ever since I played U16 football against Meath many moons ago. Can you do anything for me? Jesus touched his back and he was relieved of the pain for the first time in 44 years. The Meath man, sporting a pair of thick black rimmed glases with milk-bottle-end lens, "I haven't seen the stout in front of me since I got a hit in the 1965 under-21 championship match against Dublin. What can you do for me." Jesus gently removed the antique glasses and flung them into the lake and immediately the Meath man could see as far as the Tower of Lloyd in Kells. Jesus then turned to the Cavan man who leapt to the back of the boat and cried "Don't put a finger on me - I'm on a disability pension!" Paddy Reilly was peeling wall paper off the wall in his home in Ballyjamesduff when Hughie Smith arrived to visit. "Ah Paddy, Decoratin' agin?" "No" says Paddy, "I'm movin' out to a new house in Virginia" Fr Smith from Cavan Church recognised young Brady (one of 'mean matt' brady's gausins) standing at the back of the church one Sunday at Mass. He had presided over his wedding a few months earlier! Young Brady collared him after Mass and said "Tell me, Father, is it fair that someone should profit from the mistakes of others?" Definitely not, shure no way gausin!" said Father Smith. "All right then, can I have the e100 I gav' t'yah for the weddin'?!"

paddyogall (Mayo) - Posts: 5110 - 10/07/2009 14:24:38    340620

How do you confuse a Mayo woman in coppers ??

Tell her your a nurse

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 10/07/2009 14:29:58    340632

a Mayoman joined Al-Qaeda and he tried to blow up a bus but burned his lips on the exhaust pipe !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 10/07/2009 14:37:36    340647

How do you confuse a Mayoman? Put 3 shovels up against a wall and tell him to take his pick..

Inactive x5 (Cavan) - Posts: 1452 - 10/07/2009 14:46:36    340661

Good at given it out Slasher but not so good at taking it. Took the bait again!!!!!!!!!

Mayo ABU!!!!

Mancirish (UK) - Posts: 2200 - 10/07/2009 14:51:10    340664

"Mayo Abu".. You must be in the UK for a bit too long there Mancirish, im sure any of the Mayo mafia would be ashamed to see you supporting their county with such a poor attempt at an Irish phrase!

Inactive x5 (Cavan) - Posts: 1452 - 10/07/2009 15:04:27    340686

Hughie had worked hard all of his life and had saved all of his money. and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the coffin with me. I wanna take my money to heaven."

So he got bridget his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the coffin with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the coffin, bridget was sitting there in black next to her three sisters When they finished the rosary just before the undertakers got ready to close the coffin, bridget said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the coffinet.

Then the undertakers locked the coffine.

the sister said, "I hope you didnt put all that money in the coffin bridgie."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good cavan catholic, I can't lie. I promised hughie I was going to put that money in that coffin with him

"You mean to tell me you put every euro in the coffin with him?"

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque"

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 10/07/2009 21:28:58    341195

How was copper wire invented?

Two Cavan men fighting over a penny!



What do you call a Cavan man lying under a wheelbarrow?

A mechanic!

Sawyer (Louth) - Posts: 269 - 10/07/2009 23:56:25    341366

Its mostly Mayo jokes! Rather them than us!

Orlaith (Derry) - Posts: 4282 - 11/07/2009 11:42:53    341501

What's the difference between the mayo Football Team and Sinn Fein??

At least SF will get an All Ireland !!

Meath_bhoy (Meath) - Posts: 590 - 11/07/2009 18:40:00    341780