Roinnt quotes a bhí ar shuíomh idirlín Dhoichead Abhann Uí gCearnaigh, Co. an Chláir - Cuid 1

You should be so close to the Corner Forward that when he goes to scratch his **** tis your **** hes scratching" - Christy 'Cra' Murray Sixmilebridge
"I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed
with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"
Joe Lynch (Actor)


"We've won one All-Ireland in a row"
Wexford Fan in 1996


"The toughest match I ever heard of was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing"
Michael Smith


"Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"
Tipp fan on the Galway legend


"I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in"
Ger Loughnane


"He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right boot"
Micheal O'Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery


"Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech"
John O'Mahony


"There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive you to drink"
Sligo Fan after 2002 Connacht Final


"The wheel fell off my mobile home"
Offaly's Eugene McGee explains why he was late for training


"When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock"
Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain)


"We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday"
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster
hurling final vs. Kilkenny


'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs'
Anonymous Clare hurler

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 15:59:27    1311813

Cuid 2

'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife....she really hates you'
Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane


'You can't win derbies with donkeys'
Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990


'Sheep in a heap'
Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998


'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him'
Offaly fan in 1998


'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers'
Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a heavy defeat


'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine, but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players'
Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final


'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag'
Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team


'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first'
Cork fan 1988


'Meath make football a colourful game - you get all black and blue'
Another Cork fan 1988


'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks'
Kerry fan


'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months'
Kerry player during league campaign 1980s

Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final:
Hi ref, how's your dog?
Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that doesn't have a guide dog!

I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but it's better now being a big, fat one. Ollie Murphy

They shot the wrong Micheal Collins - Ollie Murphy to referee Micheal Collins after Donegal beat Meath in last year's championship.

He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long. - Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 16:00:00    1311814

Cuid 3

Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them but they keep getting up. - John B.Keane ventures into coaching

Behind every Galway player there is another Galway player. - Meath fan at the 2001 All-Ireland final.

When Joe Brolly is winning, he's objectionable. When he's blowing kisses, he's highly objectionable. - Cavan fan

He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse. Frustrated Sligo fan's judgment of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final.

There are two things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink and the price of drink would drive you to drink. Another Sligo fan at the same match.

You get more contact in an old-time waltz at the old-folks' home than in a National League final. - Pat Spillane

Davey Forde wouldn't be a free-taker if you boiled him in a pot - TOM RYAN after the 1999 Munser Final where Forde missed a tap-over free with 5 minutes to go.

'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday' - typical Offaly hurler quote in the week before an All-Ireland final

Football is a game for those not good enough to play hurling.TONY WALL.

Hurling is the Riverdance of sport. LIAM GRIFFEN

Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs.ANONYMOUS CLARE HURLER.

Any chance of an autograph. Its for the wife. She really hates you. TIPP FAN
TO GER LOUGHNANE.

I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipp. If I had my way, I
wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in. GER LOUGHNANE on his controversial selection policy.

I say nothing but i never stop talking. GER LOUGHNANE on his media interviews.

The GAA is an amateur association run by professionals. The FAI is a professional body run by amateurs. FAN DURING THE ROY KEANE SAGA

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 16:00:27    1311815

Cuid 4

Pat fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now...but here comes Joe rabitte hot on his tail...Ive seen it all now: a rabbit chasing a fox around croke park. MICHAEL O MUIRCHEARTAIGH

You cant win derbies with donkeys. BABS KEATING BEFORE TIPP PLAYED CORK IN
1990.

Sheep in a heap. BABS KEATING description of Offaly in 1998.

Babs keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him. OFFALY FAN IN 1998.

And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers.FORMER CLARE MENTOR TO 1 OF HIS SUBS AFTER A HEAVY DEFEAT.

Babs keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine, but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players. WATERFORD FAN AFTER 2002 MUNSTER FINAL

They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag.
PAT SPILLANE ON THE CAVAN TEAM.

The first half was even, the second half was even worse. - Pat Spillane reflects on an Ulster Championship clash.

Meath players like to get their retaliation in first. - Cork fan in 1988.

Meath make football a colorful game - you get all black and blue. -
Another Cork fan.

We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation. - Manager to a club player in Derry.

I warned the boys they couldn't go through the league unbeaten, and, unfortunately, they appear to have listened to me! - Tyrone's Art McRory after losing a league match.

(Reporter interviews Kevin Moran on TV after the 1978 All-Ireland final)
Reporter: How's the leg Kevin?
Kevin Moran: It's fuc..... it's very sore.

He's as useless as a back pocket in a vest. - Kerry fan on Colin Corkery.

Colin Corkery is deceptive. He's slower than he looks. - Kerry fan

I think Mickey Whelan believes tactics are a new kind of piles on your ****. - Disgruntled Dublin fan

Q: What's the difference between Paddy Cullen and a turnstile?
A: A turnstile only lets in one at a time. - Kerry fan after Cullen conceded five goals in the 1978 All-Ireland final.

The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does. - Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final.

A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else. - John B. Keane

Life isn't all beer and football: some of us haven't touched a football in months. - A Kerry player during the league in the early 1980's.

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 16:00:39    1311816

just after hearing a good one on the news.
the kerry team were driving to Croke Park and when they got near..Paidi got excited and he sat in beside a lad and started telling him"you were horrid slow last weak and getting bet. you have to get out to the ball quick and ahead of your marker" the lad sitting beside him turns to Paidi and said" jasus Paidi i'm the physio"

RossiesRock (Meath) - Posts: 369 - 18/12/2012 18:29:21    1311897

Was managing a under age soccer team a couple of years ago, one Sunday we got a right hiding and our keeper had a stinker. The next Sunday we were in the dressing room and our keeper was missing one one the lads asked where he was. His brother said he was gone fishing and one wag said I hope he catches more than he caught last week. True Story.

bullring (Longford) - Posts: 204 - 18/12/2012 18:34:32    1311899

Coming away from Croke Park after the 1978 AI Final, and this Dublin fan had the misfortune to ask a few of us, "What time is it, now?" To which a quick witted Kerryman immediately retorts, "5 past Cullen!"

shoulderghost (Limerick) - Posts: 863 - 19/12/2012 10:17:20    1312005

I would like to correct you Rossiesrock,it was the Westmeath team that were getting close to Croke Park not Kerry.

Hardasnails (Monaghan) - Posts: 288 - 19/12/2012 10:30:06    1312008

A new young dublin forward shakes hands with hes marker PAIDI O SE before a kerry v dublin game in croker
he asks paidi if he came up on the bus or train
Paidi not impressed did nt reply
game starts paidi wins the ball after leaving the young dub on hes backside with a shoulder solos up the field scores a point
on the way back paidi asks the the young dub was that a bus or a train that hit you

RAHKILL (Westmeath) - Posts: 395 - 19/12/2012 20:57:45    1312275