Written by former Cavan County Board Chariman, Peadar Ó Brádaigh (Brady) in this weeks Anglo Celt.

Mick Lyons in Croke Park
That this incident took place in Croke Park in the super-charged atmosphere of a Leinster football final means that I am unable to claim first hand observance but I can certainly quote an unimpeachable source - none other than former Ard Stúirheoir of Cumann Luthchleas Gael Liam Mullvihill himself, who told it to 1,100 guests at his farewell function in the City West Hotel at which I was part of the Cavan delegation. Liam added that his source was the referee.

Liam goes on "Lyons and Charlie Redmond were going helter skelter for a ball with Charlie a couple of metres in the lead. Just as he was about to gather the ball, Lyons lifted him a foot to a foot and a half with a two-footed sliding tackle. Conscious that he was already on a yellow card he looked anxiously at the ref who was fast approaching. "Ref, you're not going to put me off are ya?" "Of course I am" replied the official - "you were long late with that tackle." "Ah begod ref I came as quick as I could" was the great Meath full back's take on the issue. He got the red card."

gaelicgab (USA) - Posts: 878 - 05/12/2012 18:01:04    1306946

that story goes back to paddy mccormicks time

Buts (Galway) - Posts: 9 - 07/12/2012 11:34:39    1307617

You just can't beat that old one about Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where apparently a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionalbe diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.

The chairman stood back up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of s**** that sickens my hole."

doublehop (Kildare) - Posts: 4172 - 07/12/2012 11:48:24    1307625

There is a famous one told in Wexford,where a certain club seeking their first Leinster title on Sunday were going for their first county title,back in 1970's/1980's.They were playing against their rivals Buffers Alley,and had a load of tyres ready for the bonfire.
Anyway,they lost.And one of Buffers Alley's more decorated stars rang the pub in Oulart(I think it was the pub in Oulart) and asked to speak to a member of the team,and one was put on the phone to him.The Buffers Alley man asked "Do you need that pile of tyres or can we take them off your hands,were running out of tyres on the bonfire here"!!!

perfect10 (Wexford) - Posts: 3929 - 07/12/2012 11:59:22    1307626

Two clubs were having a meeting about joining up having a meeting about joining up. Everything was going grand when the issue arose what they would do with the field in Matry, when an old lad the back pipes "plough it" and the meeting broke into a killing spree.

An_Oifigeach (Meath) - Posts: 220 - 07/12/2012 12:39:26    1307657

At a reserve game in Co Derry, one team who had only the bare fifteen trotted off at the break getting pretty badly beaten.

Johnny at full forward was having a nightmare....

Here is part of the half time talk... Manager: "Johnny, you're coming off."

Johnny: "but we only have the bare 15."

short pause...

Manager: "come off anyway."

gaelicgab (USA) - Posts: 878 - 07/12/2012 14:31:40    1307715

There was a club game in Armagh and a player got injured. Someone told the manager that the player was concussed and didn't know who he was. The manager says, "Great!, Tell him he's Oisin McConville and get him back on".

Grey_Wolf (Leitrim) - Posts: 236 - 07/12/2012 14:43:34    1307719

there was one told about a famous club in north antrim who's camogiers would take to the field wearing all colours of knickers.After much debate at a meeting the clubs chairman stood up an announced,"they'll wear red knickers or no knickers at all".

turfcutter (Antrim) - Posts: 277 - 07/12/2012 16:00:41    1307761

In 2011, Dublin won Sam without the help of the ref. Gas ............

kerryrowz (Kerry) - Posts: 833 - 07/12/2012 16:00:49    1307762

I once heard a story about an incident that happened between Joe McNally agus Páidí Ó Sé. Don't know if its true but here goes!

Paidí was marking Joe one day in Croke Park and at the start of the game Joe started the ould slaggin and in a slaggin way asked; Well Paidí, tell us, did you come up by bus or by train? Paidí did not answer but when the first 50-50 ball came in he went through Joe fierce hard. McNally was flat out on the ground for a couple of minutes in pain. When he eventually got up Paidí asked him in a sneering and slagging way: Well Joe, tell me, did you get knocked over by a bus or a train!

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 07/12/2012 16:54:55    1307789

Just read over my post again. Ciarán Duff and Páidí Ó Sé not Joe McNally!

Great thread by the way.

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 07/12/2012 17:01:21    1307795

A certain manager was putting a women's football team through the sternness of tests to strengthen their legs. They were jumping up and down off a foot high piece of wood. One was asking "what is this for ,what does this do?" . The young lady in mention was a Kerry woman so the manager tried to explain in a way she'd understand. He said " Paidie o Shea in he's prime used to run up a hill with a cavity block in each arm, now what did you think he was doing?". The young one says " was he building a house?".

richiescats (USA) - Posts: 420 - 09/12/2012 16:22:25    1308229

Two swiped off the premierview a good few years ago

"I remember Eamon Cregan saying that one time in a Munster championship game at the Gaelic Grounds he was stepping up to take a free and they called his car registration out over the PA asking him to move it. It'd have gotten some laugh if they had called the names back in those days!"

"The third time they mentioned that this lad was missing the announcer proceeded to say something along the lines of "if you happened to be standing beside someone who looks to be around 14 and standing on his own would you ask him what his name is and what he is doing"

There's also the story Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh told in the documentary on him about meeting Roy Keane's dad at some awards ceremony

"...so he came to me later in the night and he was holding a pint glass half-full, and he came over to me and he said: "I heard you never drank....Could that be true?" And from the tone of his voice, he wasn't inclined to believe that could be true. So I said: "It never appealed to me." I said: "It doesn't even look attractive." Now I was joking with him: "…and black is not even an attractive colour to me!" Now in fairness to him he considered what I said. He lifted up his glass and it twas half-full, and he looked at it from the right and the left, and looked at it from underneath, and then he came back to me and he said: "Would you believe Micheál? I have an entirely different opinion…""

Benandonner (Antrim) - Posts: 459 - 09/12/2012 20:15:39    1308338

Paidi O'Se's first training session as manager of Clare senior footballers, walked into the dressing and gave a speech to the players, they spoke about plans for the season that lay ahead etc When everything was said and done, Tony Considine came in the door and told Paidi that it was the hurling panel he had just spoke to!!

Motte (Cork) - Posts: 48 - 10/12/2012 14:32:38    1308596

talking to a past club goalkeeper , he played in the 50,s and 60,s the fullback on the team was known to take no prisoners, so i enquired , well he said, "the odd ball came past him but there was never a man with it"

royler (Meath) - Posts: 298 - 11/12/2012 10:34:37    1308959

kerryrowz
County: Kerry
Posts: 494

1307762 In 2011, Dublin won Sam without the help of the ref. Gas ............

gas alright they put some effort in to come back in the last 10mins to beat a team who thought they had the game in the bag now thats "GAS"

dubbydave. (Dublin) - Posts: 3927 - 11/12/2012 20:32:08    1309298

remember been told s story of a new manager for u16's,he went in met the players gave his speech and said what he had in mind ,half way through the speech there was an interuption by one of the youngsters only to tell the manager but were not too good boss their was silence for about 10 seconds when the manager turned and replied to the lad dont you worry "we have plenty of time the man that made it made plenty of it" ......

dubbydave. (Dublin) - Posts: 3927 - 11/12/2012 20:42:37    1309304

Páidí Ó Sé on The Late Late Late Show GAA Special

gaelicgab (USA) - Posts: 878 - 15/12/2012 20:50:36    1310989

Here are a few I got ftrom Killasheen, Co Laoise's website - cuid 1


GAA Jokes


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My sister took an English relation to a club game of ours many years
ago. During the course of the game, when things weren't going too well
for one of our corner backs, a woman in the crowd was shouting:
"Take that useless **** off, he's good for nothing".

Needless to say, the English relation was horrified at such a remark
and tried to reason with the lady saying: "There's no need for that
language, I'm sure you wouldn't like someone saying those things about
your son," to which she replied: "sure, the useless **** is my son!"


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I was at an Armagh match in the early 90s with a neighbour of mine
who's loud by nature but is particularly vocal at matches (a bit rough
around the edges you might say).
Anyway, he took particular umbredge at one particular Armagh player
who wasn't having a great game. At one stage he shouts out the name of the player and roars:
"if they won't take you off, for **** sake, walk off!"


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Didn't hear this one myself, but the great Willie Joe Padden told me
it at last years Mayo v Galway match from an ould fella behind him. Just
after Conor Mortimer missed the change with the free, he stood up
screaming: "Jesus, if Lee Harvey Oswald had been from Mayo, JFK'd be alive and kicking!"


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Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 15:44:05    1311790

cuid 2

A barrell of a man who was very much involved in Laois GAA was at a
junior football match in Abbeyleix one night, and he went on just to
make up numbers (jersey pulled on, playing with the socks around the
trousers and someone else's boots).
Anyway, he was running around but the low stature was telling and one
of the lads shouted at him: "For f**ks sake Sabu (his nick name), will you go up for the ball to which he replied: "sure I'm not a f**king eejit,
won't it come down to me!"


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At a reserve game in Co. Derry, one team who had only the bare fifteen
trotted off at the break getting pretty badly beaten. Johnny at full
forward was having a nightmare.... here is part of the half time talk:
Manager: "Johnny, you're coming off."
Johnny: "but we only have the bare 15."
[short pause]
Manager: "come off anyway."


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Galway minors played KK in the All-Ireland semi-final in '88. The cats
(Carey, Ronan, O'Neill, Carter, etc.) were walking it. Ronan was
injured in the second half and the Kilkenny doc was stitching
him on the field. As the time went on, a disgruntled Galwayman shouts:

"If ye don't hurry up, he'll be over age!"


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At a minor league game a couple of years ago, our manager was giving
the usual f**king and blindin' to us when a spectator said to him over the fence:
"Don't be so ignorant....(short pause).... ye big fat f**ker ye."


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Nice Tipperary one. Workmates console Eddie Tucker after Tipp are
demolished by Clare and he's had a bad day: "don't worry about it
Eddie, it wasn't your fault, it's the fecin eejits that picked ya."


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Another classic:
I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan'shurling club in
Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at one AGM years ago.
The chairman, reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionalbe
diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor
commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes,
not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should
pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force. The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."

Culann (Dublin) - Posts: 2306 - 18/12/2012 15:44:19    1311791