Its pronounced Nucular

Derry_ledd (Derry) - Posts: 2093 - 30/07/2010 16:13:42    729787

Some classics from Homer:

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor!!

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

MesAmis (Dublin) - Posts: 13804 - 30/07/2010 16:19:19    729799

Homer: Kids: there's three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yea but faster!

Hllbilly_boi (Tyrone) - Posts: 202 - 30/07/2010 16:58:55    729871

Moe "Hey I'm Moe, or as the ladies call me, hey you behind the bushes..."

I think I've grown out of the Simpsons to be honest much prefer Family Guy these days.

nacellabeaga (Offaly) - Posts: 700 - 30/07/2010 17:19:43    729897

Homer: I'm in no condition to be drinking. Wait I cant listen to myself I'm drunk!

Lisa: Dad you cant drivr they took your licence.
Homer: Well i'm gonna try anyways, (car starts), IT'S A MIRACLE

happydude (Meath) - Posts: 234 - 30/07/2010 18:05:22    729969

Correction: Homer: I'm in no condition to be driving. WAIT! I cant listen to myself I'M DRUNK!

happydude (Meath) - Posts: 234 - 30/07/2010 18:10:16    729976

grandpa on homer: homer is not a communist, sure hes stupid, fat and a communist, but my homer is not a pornstar!!!
(not sure)

PRDY (Mayo) - Posts: 141 - 30/07/2010 20:01:16    730094

Trying to get a letter he posted to Mr. Burns telling him to stuff his job, from the Post Office clerk!

Homer (in a squeky posh accent): "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me?!"
Clerk: "Sure Mr. Burns, whats your first name?"
Homer: "I...dont know!"


Beer Baron Episode:

Marge: "Homer, are you the beer baron?"
Homer: "Well Marge, im not gonna lie to ya!!".........(says nothing and walks off!!!).

Regards,

Snufalufagus....Laochra Gael

Snufalufagus (Dublin) - Posts: 8100 - 30/07/2010 21:18:05    730168

Bart: Eeeew I'm not gonna eat dog pou that's been on the dirty ground

happydude (Meath) - Posts: 234 - 30/07/2010 21:18:31    730169

Helen Lovejoy: Don't talk about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N...

Krusty: The Sex Cauldron!!! I thought they closed that place down?



Homer: I'm in no condition to drive. Hold on a second, I'm drunk, I don't have to listen to myself.



Comic Book Guy: Oh a sarcasm detector! That's a real useful invention! (cue sarcasm detector exploding)



Lou: I went to one of them McDonald's over in Shelbyville the other day.

Chief Wiggum: The Mc what?

Lou: Yeah, I'd never heard of them either but they say they have over 2,000 branches in this state alone.

Eddie: Hmm... Must've sprung up over night.


Too many to mention really, could literally go on for ages with just Homer and Ralph quotes.

if_in_doubt (Kildare) - Posts: 3691 - 30/07/2010 21:27:19    730178

Lionel Hutz : Oh no we drawn jude sneijder
Marge : Is that bad ?
LH: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog.
MS: You did ?
LH: Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.

RenardRedHand (Tyrone) - Posts: 547 - 30/07/2010 21:57:17    730262

Lionel Hutz : This is the greatest case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the film " the never ending story "

LH : Homer i dont say this too often ... but your the greatest hero in american history
Homer : Woooo-Hoooo !

RenardRedHand (Tyrone) - Posts: 547 - 30/07/2010 21:59:47    730270

H: "No TV, no beer make Homer something something."
M: "Go crazy?'
H: "Don't mind if I do!! Whoooaaaaablaaaoooblaaaaaaa!!!"


Moe: I think I just logged onto my internet.

RMDrive (Donegal) - Posts: 2202 - 31/07/2010 09:39:02    730293

This guarantee is not a guarantee

Come on down to the Wolfmans Cafe where its 1955 everyday
Actual year may vary, please consult calendar

I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation
Unlikely sir, they both spell and pronounce their names differently
Bah, schedule a game and I'll ask him myself

Joemcnallysarse (Dublin) - Posts: 6 - 31/07/2010 11:47:59    730377

Eddie:well well what do we have here steve sax new york Lou:i heard a guy got killed in new york but they never found out who did it,but you wouidnt know anything about that would you Sax:But their are hundreds of unsolved murders in new york Lou:you dont know when to quit do you saxy boy Sax:dont i at least get a lawyer Lou:you watch to mant movies Cief wiggim:Good work boys i reckon we solved just about every unsolved murder in new york

thegreatone (Mayo) - Posts: 63 - 31/07/2010 12:50:47    730431

Homer:

"am sorry lisa but i never apologise"

hornytoad (Cavan) - Posts: 141 - 31/07/2010 19:09:46    730826

"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems" ...How true is this quote?

Bigboy (Galway) - Posts: 133 - 01/08/2010 09:19:55    731150

One of the best ever was from South Park when Randy Marsh was stopped by the cops for drink driving

(drunken voice) "what seems to the officer, problem" hic

On topic the previous mentioned quote over the asprin and came home with a pack of fags , pure gold.

freetaker1 (Limerick) - Posts: 758 - 01/08/2010 17:38:25    731592

I am so smart, I am so smart. S M R T, no I mean S M A R T...... (House is consumed in flames)

Family guy and South park are much funnier

Suas Sios (None) - Posts: 1558 - 03/08/2010 09:56:12    733674

The time Homer started listening to the vocabulary builder tape instead of the weight-loss tape was hilarious. Going around using all these big words while putting on more weight at the same time:

Marge: Has that cassette helped reduce your appetite?
Homer: Lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety.


Lisa: Dad, do you know what today is?
Homer: The vernal equinox?
Lisa: No! It's been two weeks since you got that tape. Let's get you on the scale!

(Homer gets on the scale)

Lisa: You've gained thirteen pounds.

Homer: Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery! A pox on them!

Lockjaw (Donegal) - Posts: 9788 - 03/08/2010 14:51:58    734258