Anything dell says

weered92 (Derry) - Posts: 296 - 22/04/2010 10:44:45    625367

before a fermanagh v monaghan game in 08, tommy freeman shot himself in the hand with a nail gun. in the build up to the game joe brolly remarked that "even at the height of the troubles they knew not to give a gun to a monaghan man".

lakedistrict (Fermanagh) - Posts: 3 - 22/04/2010 12:00:37    625454

if it(football) was a pair of t**s you'd hold dem..

pressup (USA) - Posts: 72 - 22/04/2010 20:43:53    626203

Probably not true but could be.


At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded, yes.



'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?' The little boy nodded yes.



'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when a free is given against you, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?' The little boy nodded again.



He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?' Again, the little boy nodded.



'Good,' said the coach. 'Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.'



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sparrowhawk (Tyrone) - Posts: 107 - 22/04/2010 20:59:02    626224

Heard one about a really bad full forward who was missing open goals and shooting wide from the 21 all day long. After another failed effort, he threw his hands up to heaven and shouted: "Fk me!".

To which a woman behind the goal responded: "Jaysus, I wouldn't even kiss ye."

hurlingdub (Dublin) - Posts: 6978 - 23/04/2010 15:47:48    627029

It's Fermanagh's year

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 23/04/2010 16:14:15    627072

This is an actual real happening. It's funny, but unlike many of the humerous stories on here, nothing was said (at the time). This was back in the day when only 3 subs were allowed, about 20 years ago. A certain club in Limerick had 2 of their subs already used up, and were down a few points with about 10 mins remaining. A certain sub, who in his own mind must have deemed himself good enough to be on the team, took matters into his own hands. He ran into the referee with his own piece of paper, handed it to the ref, and told 'Johnny So and So' in the half forward line (who happened to be the nearest player to the ref) that he was wanted over on the line by the selectors, i.e., he was being substituted. It worked a treat for the 'self-sub', as the 3 subs had now already been used up and the selectors as vehement as they were couldn't do a thing about it. This 'super-sub' went on to score 1-1, in the last 10 mins and the game ended in a draw. Out of pure malice if for no other reason, because I for one could never figure it out, the 'gallant sub' wasn't started in the replay, nor indeed did he get any 10 minutes, 'his own' or legitimate, in it.

shoulderghost (Limerick) - Posts: 863 - 23/04/2010 17:44:32    627220

was at the Donegal-Derry game on Sat and paddy Bradley who had Karl Lacey in his face all day, went off after a knock on the head, possibly concussion. Phsio was examinng his vision and ma behind me said "theremust be something wrong with his eyes". Wag beside replied Yeah - he can see nothing xcept Karl Laceys

Patch_eyes88 (Leitrim) - Posts: 217 - 23/04/2010 18:32:45    627285

Stewarts and Gardaí resort to Plan B

dammon (Meath) - Posts: 1291 - 24/04/2010 15:18:09    627771

dammon
County: Meath
Posts: 668

627771 Stewarts and Gardaí resort to Plan B



Waaheyyy!

Royal_Girl2k9 (Meath) - Posts: 2107 - 24/04/2010 15:37:16    627788

wouldnt block sheep. wouldnt sidestep a lamp-post

2handsondahurl (Galway) - Posts: 143 - 24/04/2010 15:44:47    627798

Anything to the effect of "2 for 1 at specsavers"

dammon (Meath) - Posts: 1291 - 24/04/2010 21:25:13    628091

Somone said to Tom Spillane YOUR A POO FOOTBALLER he replies I MUST BE THE WORST FOOTBALLER WITH 6 ALL IRELAND MEDALS

castlemaine (Kerry) - Posts: 546 - 25/04/2010 12:37:40    628318

Heard a classic at the match yesterday. A derry and Armagh man were discussing the referee.

The Derry man says "I dont blame him.... I blame his parents".

Had me laughin

Derry_ledd (Derry) - Posts: 2093 - 17/05/2010 09:21:10    649150

A few good ones lads:

Best wishes from the GAA Club at a wedding; "Triona, I hope you have better luck because we found him useless in every position" - this is the best I have ever heard!

We only have 15 so we have to play Johnny "right stick him in the corner so and tell him stay outa the ****** way"

At trials: "where do u play?" Player : "anywhere" Response: "in other words, nowhere"

Terrible hurler Timmy "match on at 7 Timmy so be here at 8"

Lad arrives in the dressing room, missed a lot of training cos the missus is expecting -not in the best of shape "Hi Davey, i thought it was Marie that was pregnant"-hilarious

Angry Mammy "hi, why wasnt Martin put on" Coach "we needed to win" and walks off - bad form but funny it must be said!

"Warm up Shaneo" Shane "where am I goin on" Coach "ur not, I just thought you looked cold"

And another one of my favs to finish - Damo, the only decent hurler on the U14 team "Damo, you take the puck-outs aswell and drive him up as high as you can so you'll be out in the middle of the field before they drop" Brilliant!

JGiles (Limerick) - Posts: 88 - 18/05/2010 17:13:38    651188

Heard an absolute cringe attack on in Celtic Park, My lord it was bad
'Ahh ref for **** sake any more frees here today and it will be like Strabane on a Saturday'
Doesn't make sense just wanted to put the Armagh person to shame haah

Orlaith (Derry) - Posts: 4282 - 18/05/2010 18:36:42    651314

Mayo win the All Ireland

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 18/05/2010 19:14:25    651372

fortyfive
mayo have 3 all ire s same as tyrone gaa started back 126 years ago not the last 8 get real ....

dannyone (Mayo) - Posts: 176 - 18/05/2010 21:51:27    651649

PULL! There's nothing funnier than when you have a scramble for the ball and about 5 lads around it trying to get it and some lads in the crowd, baying for blood, are roaring PULL, even though if anyone pulls it will definitely result in a loss of limb without any surgical procedure!!

Pinkie (Wexford) - Posts: 4100 - 19/05/2010 13:04:25    651980

Pinkie, that'll be you when you finish playing (if indeed you are still playing) and you are bitter fat and old like me!

perfect10 (Wexford) - Posts: 3929 - 20/05/2010 12:36:19    653203