Rio - thats a handy one. I presume ye work on PCs. Pretend yours is broken. Get a screwdriver and open up the back. Know all will take over - cos he will know whats wrong. When he has his hand in among the workings, you just happen to spill that large glass of water on your desk all over him. Problem solved.

oisinboy
County: Antrim
Posts: 245

183714 If you have a safe that holds some paper accounts for your customers send him down to look for an obscure name

such as P I Staker. (stole that one from hot fuzz).

Tell him to do a stock taking as the end of month stationary order is coming up. Make him count all the paper clips.

Make him make you an excel workbook with formulas in it and when he has completed it tell him thats not how you wanted it delete it and make him do it again from scrach
19/01/2009 12:57:00
Caff01
County: Mayo
Posts: 85

183717 Rio, when Keane first went over to forest playing, do you know what the first thing Brian Clough asked him to do in his office that first day: -

"...Roy, throw a cloth to my shoes theres a good man..."

If I were you, make him aware in no uncertain terms who the daddy is. Even if its just a simple, "Here boy, photocopy this document 10 times" (even if you don't need it), or "were running low on milk here, can you go round the corner like a good lad"

Straight from the off with these types of lads......straight from the off!!!!!
19/01/2009 13:49:33
Derry_ledd
County: Derry
Posts: 331

183758 Rio, we're in the same business (in fact I have an inkling of who you are). In my place we either send them on a bun run, ot give them some totting to do. Im like yourself, on yer first year keep your head down and do as your told. If that doesnt work just amke sure you make a point of pointing out everything they are doing wrong, will bring them back down to earth a bit.
19/01/2009 14:03:16
pearsesabu
County: Antrim
Posts: 117

183770 Rio - I'd have to agree with chainsaw - if he has such a big opinion of himself and is that eager, feed him as much work as possible - he'll eventually make a mistake, in which case you have been vindicated and have the opportunity to put some manners on him (a valuable lesson everyone needs at the start of their career). If he eats up the work and doesn't put a foot wrong, you can just dump as much of your own workload on him as is possible, telling the the additional experience will come in useful. The reduced workload will be handy for you while you're tarting up your CV, because you're looking for a new job, mate...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

All excellent ideas lads!! I particularly like the stationary one Oisin boy!! Derry_ledd you are a fellow member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants & Stone Cutters??? Inkling of who I am?? Would you have been at QUB by any chance? RMDrive, its true i really dislike this fella, cant have him at all. He started around September time and being the nice guy that i am i tried making conversation. Says i to him "Are you for the Tyrone game at the weekend?", says he to me "If they were playing in the back garden i'd close the blinds, i absolutely hate football and sports!". Our relationship never recovered from there.

Rio Bingo (Tyrone) - Posts: 788 - 19/01/2009 14:32:49    183803

"Are you for the Tyrone game at the weekend?", says he to me "If they were playing in the back garden i'd close the blinds, i absolutely hate football and sports!". Our relationship never recovered from there.

Is his name Pat Kenny?

Real Kerry Fan (None) - Posts: 2957 - 19/01/2009 15:33:23    183894

Rio, throw him into the nearest filing cabinet and slap him with a fax machine
He'll soon learn

Liamwalkinstown (Dublin) - Posts: 8170 - 19/01/2009 15:42:15    183909

Rio let us know how you get on.

If you have a safe for locking up confidential details you could always lock him in there.

oisinboy (Antrim) - Posts: 335 - 19/01/2009 15:56:43    183934

Rio - he's an accountant. Surely you're not expecting him to have a personality?!

Dubinmeath (Dublin) - Posts: 1123 - 19/01/2009 16:38:29    183986

19/01/2009 15:33:23
Real Kerry Fan
County: All
Posts: 784

"i absolutely hate football and sports!".

Football AND sport? He's not one of those hurley wielding anti-football maniacs is he, claiming that football is not a sport?

RMDrive (Donegal) - Posts: 2202 - 19/01/2009 16:49:07    184005

"Are you for the Tyrone game at the weekend?", says he to me "If they were playing in the back garden i'd close the blinds,



Out of a total staff of 1,500 where I work, some 1,448 would hold the same opinion.

patrique (Antrim) - Posts: 13709 - 19/01/2009 16:53:11    184011

hello lads,
not been on this since xmas. i afraid the ression hit m too and i a statistic on the dole!!!

everton to beat the pool tonight 2-1. and cut th lead at the top by points!

woops (Kerry) - Posts: 2073 - 19/01/2009 17:00:02    184019

firstly, sorry to hear about the job situation woops, hope 09 brings good news on that front for ya..
secondly, rio, ya better do a little bit other than post on this thing or young mick o leary will have yer job...
thirdly the pool by 3 tonight, torres hyppia and stevie g, fellani big miss for the scum

milhouse (Cavan) - Posts: 469 - 19/01/2009 18:14:44    184116

Rio, I had a little twerp like that once and was told to use him for whatever work i wanted. He was a complete know-all and noisy with it. I made him clean the outside office window and do loads of filing and rearranging shelves etc. He could'nt wait to get away from me or the other workers in the office who could not stand him !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 19/01/2009 18:23:50    184127

19/01/2009 16:53:11
patrique
County: Antrim
Posts: 1739

184011
"Are you for the Tyrone game at the weekend?", says he to me "If they were playing in the back garden i'd close the blinds,



Out of a total staff of 1,500 where I work, some 1,448 would hold the same opinion.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You work with Antrim Gaa then patrique aye? tell them to open the blinds, they might learn how to play football.

trileacman (Tyrone) - Posts: 759 - 19/01/2009 20:12:49    184239

Trileacman, actually most of our staff are from Tyrone, including one who currently plays for them.

He doesn't like watching them either.

patrique (Antrim) - Posts: 13709 - 19/01/2009 21:35:30    184309

patrique
County: Antrim
Posts: 1749

184309 Trileacman, actually most of our staff are from Tyrone, including one who currently plays for them.

He doesn't like watching them either.


Maybe he does not like watching because he is playing or if on the subs to nervous or am sure you have a thoery on it .

Dellboypolecat (Tyrone) - Posts: 15069 - 19/01/2009 22:16:15    184339

Kaka has seen the light, glad to see not all footballers are money-grabbing mercenaries. Not that he's short a few bob, but you know what I mean.

So who's the next target patrique?

mid-mon man (Monaghan) - Posts: 1680 - 19/01/2009 22:51:50    184380

Go on the Toffees!!
Did anyone else spot Keane's blatant dive at the same time as the penalty appeal on Torres?

Don't let a Liverpool player walk your dog..... They cannot hold a lead!! Boom Boom!!

Shinners (Longford) - Posts: 496 - 19/01/2009 23:08:55    184398

Patrique, Did a Tyrone footballer steal your childhood sweetheart ? You seem to dislike them a lot , I wonder why ?

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 19/01/2009 23:13:56    184404

Aye sure mention Mc Gee there for the millionth time patrique, why not?

trileacman (Tyrone) - Posts: 759 - 19/01/2009 23:25:51    184418

patrique
County: Antrim
Posts: 1752

184309 Trileacman, actually most of our staff are from Tyrone, including one who currently plays for them.

He doesn't like watching them either.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

Patrique, Did you read Kevin McGroartys column in the Gaelic Life on Friday, he says how it was a sad day for antrim football getting beat by queens like that. Think its even more sad that he is writing about it rather than doing something about it.

Derry_ledd (Derry) - Posts: 2093 - 20/01/2009 09:28:34    184518

Jagielka nearly declared for Ireland a few years back, if only!!! Had torres in his pocket all night and fed him off f**ts!
Class act.
Tim Cahill is THE be best player in the Premieship outside the Big4
1. Cahill 2.Robinho 3.Young 4. Arteta 4. Given

Liamwalkinstown (Dublin) - Posts: 8170 - 20/01/2009 10:18:30    184554

Bold statement Liam. Good alright, Stephen Ireland has been as good if not better this year. Young plays for one of the big 4 now. Fabregas is the best player that does not play for one of the big 4.

samin10 (Armagh) - Posts: 2434 - 20/01/2009 13:30:07    184834