Mayo's will: - Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs. - Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches. One Mayo beside us at Castlebar earlier this summer even opened up a can of tuna and started dipping his hands into it and eating away on it. - Come into 'town' on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers. - Then drink-drive back home at 4am. - Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they're out on the pull. - Say, 'Well chief?' when they meet someone they know. - Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens. - Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea. - Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1. - Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio. - Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television. - Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by. - Spit on their hands and then use the greener to style their hair in the manner they so desire. - Spend hours leaning on gates looking at sheep and cows in fields. - Stop and read every planning permission notice they see. - Drop bales on roads after not tying the load right. - Claim that they are 2nd best at everything

mossbags (Galway) - Posts: 1089 - 05/12/2008 16:57:22    158143

well chief.you have it right except for the one about dropping bales on the road.As i have always said that's a cardinal sin.

maigh_eo (Mayo) - Posts: 1346 - 05/12/2008 17:43:27    158200

Agree with you there Maigh-eo. Theres some things even the confession box would'nt forgive.

mossbags (Galway) - Posts: 1089 - 05/12/2008 17:51:25    158219

hey mossbags,

"One Mayo beside us at Castlebar earlier this summer even opened up a can of tuna and started dipping his hands into it and eating away on it."

nuthin wrong with that,......................sorry we dont do prawn sandwiches..................

voiceofreason (Mayo) - Posts: 588 - 08/12/2008 13:47:43    159269

thanks for that i had some laugh!

budlight (Tyrone) - Posts: 540 - 08/12/2008 14:29:08    159302

As if Galway were more civilised, I forgot its a million miles from mayo and in a different century. its the begining of the 21st century here so i take it ye galway lads are drivng round in flying cars like George Jetson....

Glass houses and throwing stones??.... is there a saying in that!!!

oh and by the way y forgot some
"bring the wife and kids to the mart of a holiday"
"burn down the hay shead annually while trying to make the moon shine"
use bailing twine as a belt for the trowsers.......

FromTheNa (Mayo) - Posts: 583 - 08/12/2008 15:06:54    159341

you could probably sub in galway-heads for all of those...

TheMaster (Mayo) - Posts: 16187 - 08/12/2008 19:45:15    159626

`MOSSBAGS``great thread.Heres some more
``MAYOS``always stop for the ``feed``on the way to Dublin.
``MAYOS`` never take All Ireland tickets from the club `cos they believe that there are a ``rake``of tickets to be got in ``The Big Tree``
``MAYOS think that every club should have a player on the panel.
``MAYOS revere the ``County``man in their midst.
``MAYOS``always park miles down the Dublin road in Castlebar on match days so that they will be home in time to milk.
``MAYOS``visit the co-ops every day but dont buy anything.
``MAYOS``like to drink pints of ``special`` and pints of ``mix``.
``MAYOS``dont book hotels for All Ireland weekends`cos they always have a place to ``wait``.
``MAYOS dont go around looking for a lift to town,but they nearly always get a ``seat.``
``MAYOS``always go to ``town``on Saturdays.
``MAYOS``dont hire a taxi ,they prefer a mini-bus for the ``crack``
``MAYOS``dont ``stay``anywhere they just ``wait``.
``MAYOS ` love curry chips after ``the feed of drink``.
``MAYOS `` are not worried by the pork crisis `cos they ``kill their own``.
``MAYOS ``dont go to Enniscrone anymore they just fly abroad from Knock.
``MAYOS``think that all ``buildins``are in Dublin or London,and that only ``MAYOS``work on the ``buildins``.
``MAYOS``dont work at or on the bog,they spend a ``day in the bog``.
``MAYOS``always head for ``Coker``on a Friday night,so that they are guaranteed at least two good nights before the inevitable on the Sunday.!!
``MAYOS``dont swear, they simply exclaim ``on my solemn oath``.

Brinsley Swartz (Mayo) - Posts: 2225 - 08/12/2008 20:03:55    159638

"oh and by the way y forgot some
"bring the wife and kids to the mart of a holiday""

ya forgot to mention the oul lad giving the young lad a slap for asking for a britvic. (him thinking its some kind of modern fandangled alcoholic yoke)

voiceofreason (Mayo) - Posts: 588 - 09/12/2008 12:36:55    160026

Mayo think they are good footballers just cuz they get to the final of the all-ireland but look what happens when they get there

Kerry 1-20 Mayo 2-9 (2004)
Kerry 4-15 Mayo 3-5 (2006)

its good to see them not getting their hopes up this year getting knocked out to Tyrone early in the season.

dos_santos (Derry) - Posts: 114 - 09/12/2008 15:12:20    160198

Thats pretty original dos santos...

unclegerry (Mayo) - Posts: 1223 - 09/12/2008 16:18:32    160286

``MOSSBAGS``,and theres more!!
``MAYOS``dont drive a car to Bangor Erris,they just go ``back to Bangor``.
``MAYOS``dont include ``Tuesday``as a day of the week,instead its called ``Western Day``.
``MAYOS`` dont put down tarmac they get a ``fill of maintenance``
``MAYOS``dont pay E.S.B. bills they just pay ``electric light bills``
``MAYOS``still call male teachers ``master``.
``MAYOS``love committees and being on them.
``MAYOS``call committee meetings at 10pm in the middle of winter.
``MAYOS``believe that committees can make binding decisions without a quorum.
``MAYOS``civil servants have all succeeded in being decentralised to their home towns.

Brinsley Swartz (Mayo) - Posts: 2225 - 09/12/2008 17:44:46    160388

First of all to that santo fella (or whatever your crumby name is) derry are no spring chickens themselves, ya that's right, i'm talking 'bout these:

2008:
Fermanagh 1-11 Derry 1-9 (ha,ha)
Monaghan 1-13 Derry 1-12 (ha,ha,ha)

2007:
Dublin 0-18 Derry 0-15

Derry 1-9 Monaghan 0-14

2006:
Donegal 1-13 Derry 0-11 (oh ya, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

so many more defeats, but i don't want you to get depressed over that-i can wait til next year when ye lose all over again-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ah a ha ha haa ha ah haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :) :) :)

Mayoegian (Mayo) - Posts: 72 - 09/12/2008 19:25:57    160477

Mayo's know someone who can drink 30 pints
Mayo's have a relation high up in the guards who can get motoring and public order offences squashed
Mayo's call in requests to Mid West radio for people who are flying out of Knock airport on their holidays
Mayo's have at least one Uncle who was in McAlpines fusileers
Mayos regard their 2006 victory over Dublin as the one of the best days of their lives
Mayo's know who their third cousins are
Mayo's could get you a bottle of poitin with 24 hours advance notice
Mayo's have spent at least one weekend in Achill or Enniscrone where they slept in a car
Mayo's go for a lock of pints (or a lock of chips after a lock of pints)
Mayos go to funerals of people they've never met

whitey (USA) - Posts: 9 - 10/12/2008 00:24:36    160744

Mayo's know someone who can drink 30 pints
Mayo's have a relation high up in the guards who can get motoring and public order offences squashed
Mayo's call in requests to Mid West radio for people who are flying out of Knock airport on their holidays
Mayo's have at least one Uncle who was in McAlpines fusileers
Mayos regard their 2006 victory over Dublin as the one of the best days of their lives
Mayo's know who their third cousins are
Mayo's could get you a bottle of poitin with 24 hours advance notice
Mayo's have spent at least one weekend in Achill or Enniscrone where they slept in a car
Mayo's go for a lock of pints (or a lock of chips after a lock of pints)
Mayos go to funerals of people they've never met

FromTheNa (Mayo) - Posts: 583 - 10/12/2008 12:58:16    161000

whitey County: USA Posts: 1 I feel its my duty to explain some of your comments _____________________________-------------------------____________________ Mayo's know someone who can drink 30 pints - Me, I can drink 30 pints (in a weekend) Mayo's have a relation high up in the guards who can get motoring and public order offences squashed - (my uncle was in the gards but has since retired Mayo's call in requests to Mid West radio for people who are flying out of Knock airport on their holidays - Its a farewell statement and it leats the neighbours know whats happening Mayo's have at least one Uncle who was in McAlpines fusileers - ???????????/ sorry dont know the McAlpines fusileers Mayos regard their 2006 victory over Dublin as the one of the best days of their lives - sorry mate not me.. just bitter guys who hate dublin. Mayo's know who their third cousins are - to see if you need to ask the pope for marrage consent :-) Mayo's could get you a bottle of poitin with 24 hours advance notice - thats a long time to wait Mayo's have spent at least one weekend in Achill or Enniscrone where they slept in a car - Guilty - im from ballina and have done this on numerous ocassions Mayo's go for a lock of pints (or a lock of chips after a lock of pints) - this saying is dying now. we are using the traditional "session" again Mayos go to funerals of people they've never met - maybe - i never have. all in all your not far wrong.....

FromTheNa (Mayo) - Posts: 583 - 10/12/2008 13:04:09    161009

Surprised this wasnt posted already... enjoy...

Choose Mayo

Choose pain, heartache, depression
Choose to place your faith in false gods adorned with tight shorts, false tans and braids
Choose whether or not to wear your county colours for fear of ridicule should you be at the wrong end of another hammering
Choose false hope at the start of each FBD Cup campaign

Choose Galway as the enemy, Roscommon as an annoyance, Sligo as soccer heads, Leitrim as your favourite underdogs
Choose to wish Padraig Joyce was born our side of the border
Choose McHale Park as mecca, Tuam as a hay shed, Hyde as a hell-hole
Choose to park in the old bacon factory, stand under the score board, watch the girls go by with fake tan dripping from the night before

Choose whether to travel up to Croker the day before or the morning of the big match
Choose whether or not to take home that Tipp girl you met in Rodys
Choose a big mighty fry before the match in your sisters place
Choose too many pints before the match

Choose the Big Tree after the match
Choose to go on the piss even though we lost again

Choose to hope that Maughan finally gets it right, O'Mahony hangs around if Maughan doesn't
Choose to forget Holmes but thank him for the league title
Choose to dream about what it would have been like if we had won in 1996, Choose to forget about 1997 and 2004

Choose to be a Garda, Civil Servant, Plasterer, Carpenter, Plumber, Electrician, Nurse
Choose a flat in Drumcondra, Phibsboro, Rathmines
Choose a house in Ballycullen, Carpenterstown, Lucan
Choose Rody Bolands, the Portobello, Flannerys, Coppers, McGowans
Choose the Manhattan, Giggs Place for eating

Choose to leave your place of birth at the tender age of 17
Choose to go to college in Galway, Sligo, UL, UCD or get the start with the big brother in Dublin
Choose only to return home for Christmas, Easter, the local town festival, Connacht Championship fixtures
Choose whether or not to apply for a job in the one local factory and accept half your current wage in the hope that life will be better than the rat race in the big smoke

Choose Cox's, Rockys, Mantra, Long Necks to drink
Choose Baxter, Volex, Coca Cola to work
Choose Breaffy House, Castlecourt Hotel, Hotel Westport, Pontoon Bridge, Downhill Hotel to get married

Choose Enniscrone for holidays

Choose the Westhern, The Cannacht Telegraph, the Mayo News, Mis Whest Radio

Choose long summer days in the bog, driving a tractor at 12, going to the local mart as a big day out
Choose your first car a souped up Jap import, on your mothers insurance, don't tax it until you are caught
Choose the site your father leaves you and to build a unimaginatively designed mansion on it

Choose the two teacher school for primary education, the big school in town for secondary
Choose to go down town for lunch, play pool in the pub, hope the convent girls notice you
Choose getting a pint in the local at 16, seeing your father in the local disco, thinking you scored because you kissed a girl
Choose to stand outside the church at Sunday mass choose, to always be a mammys boy

Choose Mayo

AbbeyCider (Mayo) - Posts: 16 - 11/12/2008 01:00:40    161638

Okay--I managed to come up with a few more

Mayos carry a weapon in their car---usually an ash plant or wavin pipe
Mayos stand at either the back of the church or outside the church
Mayos know the words to "Horse it into ya Cynthia"
Mayos call the booreen that leads into their house the "street" and fill holes in the "street" with "maintenance"
Mayos love to either have the stations at their own house or go to the stations at a neighbors house
Mayos love treacle cake
Mayos have probably gone a school tour to either Salthill or Lough Key forest Park
Mayos think that all the "oil" is squeezed out of sausage turf and that hand cut is way better

whitey (USA) - Posts: 9 - 11/12/2008 02:44:31    161652

how about

how is she cutting
going for a rake of porter
did u get the hand up
a few hang sammages
pon my oath

culmore (None) - Posts: 1398 - 12/12/2008 10:48:15    162797

TheMaster
County: Mayo
You could probably sub in galway-heads for all of those...

I was thinking the same and I'm a Connemara man. Great thread.

Wests_Awake (Galway) - Posts: 877 - 12/12/2008 13:18:59    162987