How was copper wire invented? Two Cavan men fighting over a penny!

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 01/06/2011 11:06:07    945117

So you keep saying vice but another example prejudice rearing it's ugly head

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 01/06/2011 11:28:43    945142

Forty five you are completely missing the point

Paddie's father was probably the butt of the ignorant jokes that you find so funny and just because an Irishman re-tells the joke dosen't make it right. it's interesting that people have come to accept the stereotype. people like Vice for example will use humour like yours to put someone else down as evidenced by his Cavan joke.

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 01/06/2011 11:36:35    945155

Fr Smith from Lavey Church recognised young Brady (one of 'mean matt' brady's gausins) standing at the back of the church one Sunday at Mass. He had presided over his wedding a few months earlier!
Young Brady collared him after Mass and said "Tell me, Father, is it fair that someone should profit from the mistakes of others?"
Definitely not, shure no way gausin!" said Father Smith.
"All right then, can I have the €100 I gav' t'yah for the weddin'?!"

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 01/06/2011 11:47:14    945167

Jaysus onochloir dry up would ya its only a bit of craic! I'd say you are a barrell of laughs on a night out!

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 01/06/2011 12:30:30    945208

three kerry men were on a day out in dublin city ... they were walking along the river liffy when they seen three young boys fishing off of a bridge... they noticed the amount off fish the youngsters had and carried on about their buisness.... a few weeks later the kerry men were in co. kerry and were reminicing about their day out when one said about the lads fishing ... jesus idlove one of them now another replyed and the third said oh theres a bridge up the road we could do a bit of fishing up there ... so the men set off to catch themselves a feed ... when they reached the bridge it was too high to fish off so two of the men held the third mans legs and hung him upside down off the bridge ... a half an hour passed and the men asked the third man was there any fish .. no replyed the third man ... after a hour the third man started shouting "pull me up . pull me up !" the lads holding his legs responded "have you a fish ?" the third man replyed "no .. a trains coming !"

biff1 (Offaly) - Posts: 8 - 01/06/2011 13:41:08    945309

Well I certainly wouldn't get any laughs out our your crass sense of humour vice. Guffaws, howling and grunting might rock your boat but you will just have to enjoy your nights of simple pleasures without me.

biff this is one of the Jokes that Tom O'Connor came over from England to tell us and watch us as we laughed at ourselves 40 years ago.

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 01/06/2011 14:06:44    945347

Tom O'Connor now's there's an English name if I ever heard one .

: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 01/06/2011 14:28:31    945388

Why was the Cavan man Playing American football?
To get a quarter back.

georgelee (Louth) - Posts: 523 - 01/06/2011 14:44:23    945401

Tom O'Connor was Irish was he?

In America, African American refer to people who dance around like stereotype buffoons as Uncle Toms, I guess you fit that bill Fortyfive, a little Irish Uncle Tom. as for Georgelee you are a mindlessly predjudical.

I don't mind people who think , because I abhor Racial stereotyping or prejudicial slurs, that I have no sense of humour. People who rely on this type of humour are crass and sad. forty-five and George Lee believe that they are inferior in Fortyfives case and superior in George lee's case that's why a lot of these types of tied jokes are outlawed.

Snivelling and ashamed of your people and you let others mock you and you try to transfer that sense of loathing to others.

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 01/06/2011 18:06:25    945683

Mickey Reilly (a Cavan man) stood up Saturday night after the news and weather. "Right missus, get your coat" he shouted to the wife.

"Great" she shrieked, "are we goin' out?"

"No you're not! I'm going into McBrides for a pint and i'm turnin' the heating off!"

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 01/06/2011 19:25:41    945769

Yes indeed vice, the old ones were the best !! Now the one about the Donegal man and the sheep was good too the 1st time i heard it !!

Cavan_Slasher (Cavan) - Posts: 10253 - 01/06/2011 19:32:15    945780

The Cavan ones far outweigh any Donegal ones Slash :)

Paddy Reilly was peeling wall paper off the wall in his home in Ballyjamesduff when Hughie Smith arrived to visit.

"Ah Paddy, Decoratin' agin?"

"No" says Paddy, "I'm movin' out to a new house in Virginia"

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 01/06/2011 19:41:03    945787

Is this thread going to go the way of so many and get locked! there's more snipping on one little paddy joke than one would find hanging out of a hedge around Crossmaglen, after all its one of the longest and successful continuing posts on the HS .

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 01/06/2011 19:47:36    945790

It was all going swimmnigly until ochonlir threw a hissy fit.

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 01/06/2011 19:59:05    945797

It wasnt going that well since you guys were rolling over and letting the British tourists rub your bellies

ochonlir (Cavan) - Posts: 4343 - 02/06/2011 08:50:48    945919

St Peter is sitting at the gates of heaven one fine afternoon when this man arrives up in a well pressed blue suit and asks if there would be any chance of gaining admission.
'Well says St Peter, 'I didn't get where I am today by letting every Tom, Dick and Harry walk through these gates. What sort of virtuous qualities do you have which would make me want to let you in?'
'Well' says the Ulsterman, 'I was very devout. I went to church every Sunday morning, well or ill, all my life, and lived as a good Christian every other day of the week.'
'Umm, that's a good start says St Peter, 'but it's hardly good enough. There are boyos in here who went to church once a day, and three times on Sundays, and had to walk fourteen miles there and back summer and winter with no soles on the shoes of their feet.'
'Well says the Ulsterman, 'what about fidelity? I never once looked at another woman in all the fifty years I was married. And before I was married I was as pure as the first day of spring.'
'Unnm, that's highly commendable says St Peter, 'but you have to bear in mind that we're full to the brim in here with men of the cloth who spurned the sins of the flesh from the moment they were born until the day and hour they shuffled off their mortal coils.'
'I take your point says the Ulsterman. *What about bravery then?'
'What's your record on the courage front?' says St Peter.
'Well,' says the Ulsterman, 'once I walked almost the entire length of the Falls Road singing "The Sash'' at the top of my voice and beating a Lam beg drum until I thought the skin would burst.'
'Oh?' says St Peter, 'and when was this, pray tell?'
'About five minutes ago'

fortyfive (Tyrone) - Posts: 5929 - 02/06/2011 10:27:48    945957

ochonlir
County: Cavan
Posts: 2889

945919 It wasnt going that well since you guys were rolling over and letting the British tourists rub your bellies

Dont be such a dry *****. If you're that easily insulted ignore the thread. If every comedian considered everything taboo then there wouldn't be much craic on the circuit would there?

Lockjaw (Donegal) - Posts: 9772 - 02/06/2011 10:50:01    945982

onchloir

You the first Cavan man I've known who is miserable in EVERY sense of the word!

vice99 (Donegal) - Posts: 1054 - 02/06/2011 11:23:47    946004

My grandfather was sick so we covered his back in butter....he went downhill very fast after that!

mozsyh (Kildare) - Posts: 172 - 02/06/2011 11:39:24    946014