dhorse- maybe we could meet up .... oh man, i moved to fast again...

Rhodejim (Offaly) - Posts: 2888 - 29/01/2010 17:39:09    546316

Phoenix perhaps

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 29/01/2010 17:48:08    546333

29/01/2010 17:48:08
chainsaw
County: Laois
Posts: 518

546333 Phoenix perhaps
_________
Whats the bread in Arizona like ?

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 29/01/2010 17:50:37    546341

ruanua
County: Donegal
Posts: 2716

546341 29/01/2010 17:48:08
chainsaw
County: Laois
Posts: 518

546333 Phoenix perhaps
_________
Whats the bread in Arizona like ?

Haven't tried it in phoenix but there's a dandy bakery in Bisbee

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 29/01/2010 17:58:25    546361

Rhodejim
County: Offaly
Posts: 1534

546316 dhorse- maybe we could meet up .... oh man, i moved to fast again...

Nothing wrong with moving fast boss... Kilcavan has a nice ambiance

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 29/01/2010 18:01:04    546365

Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts to him, "Where am I?"
The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't kid me ya b 'stard, you're in that feckin basket!"

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 29/01/2010 19:46:31    546528

Notre Dame is in flames and Quasimodo is trapped on the roof running from tower to tower when he hears Esmeralda screaming from the street below "jump Quasi jump " pointing to his back he replies "what you think this a ****** parachute"

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 01/02/2010 16:16:49    548390

Quasimodo is retiring from Notre Dame Cathedral and is auditioning bell-ringers.
He runs an ad in the French Gazette. A guy from a nearby village applies. Quasi explains to the applicant that to ring the bell, he must grab the rope as high up as possible, pull it down to the floor and then let go.

"Go ahead, try it!" he says.

The guy grabs the rope and pulls it down to the floor, but fails to let go and the rope yanks him up and he bangs his head on the bell on his way up, knocking him unconscious. He falls out of the window to the street below, and to his death.

A crowd gathers below and Quasi runs down to where the dead applicant is lying dead in the street. A passerby asks, "Hey Quasimodo, you know this fellow?"

"No," says Quasimodo, "but his face rings a bell...."

About a month later, the brother of the dead applicant comes to the Cathedral to apply for the same job. Again, Quasimodo explains how to ring the bell.

"Try it!" he says.

And again the applicant grabs the rope but forgets to let go, banging his own head on the bell and falling to his death on the street below.

Again, Quasi races down to the street and another pedestrian asks, "Yo, Quasimodo, you know this guy?"

"Nope, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

ruanua (Donegal) - Posts: 4966 - 01/02/2010 16:28:06    548394

Man goes to market where he hears cockney guy shouting " blow up dolls 50 quid ....blow up dolls 50 quid " so he decided to buy one and hands over the 50 quid.
He take home the doll where he begins to pump up the doll with a bicycle pump ....but each time he pumps it up the air escapes so he puts it back in its box and the following week brings it back to the market. Lucky enough he finds the cockney guy who is again shouting " blow up dolls 50 quid ....blow up dolls 50 quid " so he says to the guy I bought this doll last week I brought it home pumped it up but it went down on me 3 times so the cockney guy gets really excited and shouts " blow up dolls 500 quid ....blow up dolls 500 quid "

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 01/02/2010 17:14:06    548438

2 golfers are having a drink in the clubhouse 1st golfer says his wife died last week 2nd golfer says O I'm very sorry to hear that what did she die of 1st golfer says well we were playing in the mixed when we came to the 8th hole she was on the ladies tee and I had a snap hook my ball hit her on the head and she died instantly . Now 1st golfer says I dont know what I'm going to do O says the 2nd golfer that's no problem just weaken your left hand grip and..............

chainsaw (Laois) - Posts: 712 - 05/02/2010 15:09:05    552737

Whats the big deal with John Terry anyway?
Sure doesn't everyone know that when a full back leaves a hole it's up 2 the centre half to fill it

Dr.Shephard (Leitrim) - Posts: 2187 - 05/02/2010 15:23:27    552754

Dr S i thought u were to leave the sit ein the event of me still being here?

joseff (Louth) - Posts: 964 - 05/02/2010 15:58:07    552800

joseff
County: Louth
Posts: 97

552800


As I posted on the beat the sportsguy thread I was happy to see that your username was changed and was no longer one which could cause abuse or offense.
I also had the backing of a lot of respected posters, something which you will never be

Dr.Shephard (Leitrim) - Posts: 2187 - 05/02/2010 16:31:20    552837

you got 100 old ladies how do you get 99 to say **** at the same time the other one shouts bingo

mickobronx17 (Mayo) - Posts: 227 - 05/02/2010 17:35:02    552916

mickobronx17
County: Mayo
Posts: 151

552916 you got 100 old ladies how do you get 99 to say **** at the same time the other one shouts bingo




A little punctuation would make that joke easier to decipher.

Dr.Shephard (Leitrim) - Posts: 2187 - 05/02/2010 17:53:57    552938

Fabio Capello has rang Wayne Bridge to confirm that John Terry has lost the captain's armband.............
and could check under the bed to see if it's there :)

fredrickwood (Roscommon) - Posts: 2871 - 05/02/2010 18:47:10    553005

whiterbannnas
County: Mayo
Posts: 1584


Mayo are bad losers because we're not used to losing


------------------------------------


Best joke of the day. Bada boom!

blu (Down) - Posts: 1240 - 05/02/2010 19:13:09    553032

its a joke forum dr

mickobronx17 (Mayo) - Posts: 227 - 05/02/2010 19:35:59    553051

Have to agree with the Doc mickobronx, and chainsaw's second joke was even harder to read. Even a full stop here and there would help if question marks are too difficult for ya.

Good to know I'm not the only reader of sickipedia on here either.....

nocky (Wexford) - Posts: 2059 - 05/02/2010 19:54:21    553065

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.



One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.'

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

'Been on holiday yet, lads?'

'Off to England next month,' says John. 'We go to England every year, hire a car. and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?'

Jim agrees.



'Ah, England !' says the bartender. 'Wonderful Country ... the history, the beer, the culture....'

'Nah, we don't like that British crap,' says John. 'Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim?

And we can't stand the English; they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.'

'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive".

dhorse (Laois) - Posts: 11374 - 09/02/2010 19:16:55    556732